1. |
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2. |
The Odd Number
01:03
|
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|
All my friends got married to each other
And I was the odd number
|
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3. |
Put it in Your Pants
01:20
|
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|
Put it in your pants
Put it in your pants
Don’t listen to what anyone says, just
Put it in your pants
My mom said don’t
My dad said don’t
I left them both
And I put it in my pants
My friends said don’t
My cat said don’t
I left them all
And I put it in my pants
The house rep said don’t
The senator said don’t
The president said don’t
I didn’t vote for them
My fingers said don’t
My inner thoughts said don’t
I ignored them both and
Put it in my pants
No one knows you
Like the things that you put in your pants!
So if you want to be understood, children,
Pour it out of the can
And into your pants!
(Love is just around corners…)
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4. |
He's Nice!
01:08
|
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|
He is a good person
See the way that he cleans himself??
Oh boy--
Here he comes again with another set of decorative spoons...
Everyone hates his fat, dumb, asshole guts but you're bananas for his swollen neck beef
...Where's the rest of his shirt??
He's everything you've ever wanted, and THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
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5. |
||||
|
I.
I want to fly
Up in the sky
So I'll take this bike pump
And shove it inside
And I'll pump till I plump
And then balloon away
To the heavens...
II.
1, 2, he's up to great blue
3, 4, he's swelling to soar
5, 6, professors predict
7, 8, he's going to inflate!
III. Oh...
|
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6. |
Mitzie Snippets
00:25
|
|||
|
Down by the border lived old Mitzie Snippets
Who all of her life ate snails and crickets
And when she expired they found in her bed
That crickets and snails had eaten her dead
|
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7. |
Anyone Else
01:53
|
|||
|
I don’t need to be anyone except myself
I don’t need to pretend to be anyone else
Except around you, TAMMY
I don’t need to pretend to be anyone else
I’m perky, and content being myself
Except when you don’t look at me, TAMMY
I don’t need to be anyone else
(He doesn’t need to be anyone else)
(Except with Tammy)
|
||||
8. |
Something Called Love
01:59
|
|||
|
I’ve got somethin’ in my eye (called love!)
I’ve got somethin’ in my eye (called love!)
And you’ve got to pick it out
Yeah oh you’ve got to pick it out
For it’s red and swollen, inconsolable,
Throbbin’, sobbin’, uncontrollable,
Crusty and salty and engorged!
I found somethin’ in the trash (called love!)
I stole somethin’ from the trash (called love!)
And I’m goin’ to take it home
Yeah oh I’m goin’ to take it home
It’s drippin’, steamin’, rank and dank—a
Resplendent bouquet of stank—re-
Pugnant, pungent, rancid mass of
Mold-encrusted, marinated,
Slinky, shriveled, slip’ry mystery,
Decomposin’ and corrodin’
In a bed of pests and vermin,
Worms and aphids, bales of maggots
Caked into its nooks and crannies,
Crevices and holes and folds and any
Corner of your sweetest dream.
(Take it away, Randy.)
|
||||
9. |
True Love
01:14
|
|||
|
I collect your hair out from the shower drain, and inspect it for lice
Or other bugs or lint or other signs of strife
Because I care about you
And when you’re ready to learn of my practices I’ll pull the box out from under my bed
And show you how I can
Be creative with the detritus from your body
And how I made it look just like your face
But for now I’m happy with knowing it’s under my bed
And it brings me good dreams, I believe,
Because when I dream it’s colored by your hair
|
||||
10. |
||||
|
I…
I remember!
I remember when I was not a pony!
I remember when I was not a little pony!
Eating APPLES!
EATING APPLES!
IN THE PASTORAL NIGHT!
|
||||
11. |
||||
|
I put it right where you left it: soaking in milk.
Wow.
Oo!
You can't satisfy every clown.
|
||||
12. |
You Are My Dad
01:09
|
|||
|
You are my dad,
You are my dad
I remember
Seeing you
Come out of my daughter’s womb
You are my dad,
You are my dad
|
||||
13. |
My Mother
00:58
|
|||
|
Oh yeah, my mother’s strong
(You won’t look right if you look at her wrong)
Oh yeah, my mother’s edgy
(Give her a hug and she’ll give you a wedgie)
Oh yeah, my mother’s hip
(She broke it trying to jack a cruise ship)
Oh yeah, my mother’s cool
(She only gargles and won’t leave her stool)
“Someone get me my goiter oil!”
|
||||
14. |
||||
15. |
Ballad of the Milkman
01:48
|
|||
|
Milkman coming down the road, he’s got
Cartons of love toting at his sides
For the kids living down the block who are
Emaciated and disfigured: milkless.
Dishing out jugs of uncurdled joy
He is the mobile teat they needed.
Sing with me: sisters,
Brothers, aunts, nephews,
Reluctant communists
Grandmas, grandpas, dubious half-siblings, twins, triplets, celibate clowns, octo-babies, Devon
Milkman, milkman
Bottle us a future
Deliver the cream
Pour us a dream
|
||||
16. |
||||
|
Hoo?
|
||||
17. |
Famous Lederhosen
01:49
|
|||
|
When do I get to wear my famous lederhosen?
When do I get to wear my famous lederhosen?
O dear Mamma, you promised me
My lederhosen was the key to your heart
O dear Papa, you promised me
That when I died I’d become a big star
When do I get to wear my famous lederhosen?
When do I get to wear my famous lederhosen?
O dear Mamma, look at me now
A lederhosen’d cherub in the clouds above
O dear Papa, look at me now
Nestled in the firmament of your love
When do I get to wear my famous lederhosen?
|
||||
18. |
I Dream of Johnny
02:01
|
|||
|
You’re too tall to love me
Because you can see all the bugs tickling my hair
You’re too clean to scrub me
Because I don’t believe in washing my underwear
You’re too real to touch me
Because when you wake up I will disappear
|
||||
19. |
Night Winks
01:36
|
|||
Johnny Thursday Boston, Massachusetts
Johnny Thursday parted from the primordial ooze of love when he was but a boy. Now, he writes folk songs that defile expectations.
Someday, he will die.
Johnny Thursday recommends:
A band headed by Johnny's partner in musical crime, Zach McCowin, Blood Capsules' debut Call Home is a slick, thoughtful, alt rock tour de tasty.
go to albumIf you like Johnny Thursday, you may also like:
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